Transcript | [UNTITLED] SMP

[The Wisterian Representatives have gathered at the Wisterian Town Hall for a meeting. They sit together at a table with President Doc at the head, discussing recent events and other important happenings.]

[19:55:05] ✦Faulkner [rp]: are we done with this meeting yet..?

[19:55:27] ✦[rp]Doc: We haven't even started talking about the important aspects.

[19:55:37] ✦[rp]Dex: well, what are those?

[19:55:42] ✦Faulkner [rp]: well it FEELS like we've been here for HOURS

[19:55:43] ✦[rp]Doc: I need everyone's input on other faction relations.

[19:56:06] ✦[rp]Doc: If you don't want to give input, I'm not forcing you to stay

[19:56:19] ✦Faulkner [rp]: whatever

[19:56:24] ✦[rp] Ollie: alright

[19:56:30] ✦[rp]Dex: I mean, the others are nice

[19:56:55] ✦Faulkner [rp]: some of them are

[19:57:02] ✦[rp] Ollie: my only opinion is that theres a certain person in another faction that's a huge asshole, thats what i think

[Outside, a group of Malfaction Dignitaries, including King Ceph and their yes-man posse, have arrived, hoping to cause mayhem and drama for the Wisterian Representatives to stroke their own egos.]

[19:55:41] ✦[rp] ceph: guys ik lets eavesdrop

[19:56:09] ✦[rp]Prince: good idea, sire

[A keen eyed Faulkner notices movement outside]

[19:57:05] ✦Faulkner [rp]: uhm

[19:57:07] ✦Faulkner [rp]: guys

[19:57:16] ✦[rp]Dex: yeah?

[19:57:23] ✦Faulkner [rp]: hm

[19:57:34] ✦[rp]Doc: Right, but what should we do to improve those relations? Does anyone require anything from other factions?

[Faulk decides to say nothing]

[19:57:34] ✦Faulkner [rp]: nothing

[King Ceph kicks the door to the Wisterian Town Hall open and barges inside, their group of dignitaries close on their heels]

[19:57:42] ✦[rp] ceph: greetings mothers and fuckers

[19:57:48] ✦[rp] Ollie: WHAT

[19:57:51] ✦[rp] ceph: HEY OLLIE

[19:58:13] ✦Faulkner [rp]: so I did hear something

[Faulkner pulls out its crossbow, pointing it at the intruders]

[19:57:54] ✦[rp] Punk: ey man chill with the weapon

[19:58:01] ✦[rp] Ollie [to Doc]: okay permission to fucking leave

[19:58:09] ✦[rp] ceph: denied

[19:58:10] ✦[rp]Prince: no. stay

[19:58:16] ✦[rp] Ollie: you can't say SHIT

[19:58:18] ✦[rp]Doc: I just said I wasn't keeping anyone here

[19:58:24] ✦[rp]Dex: uhhhh

[19:58:46] ✦[rp]Dex: y'all know this is a faction only thing right?

[19:58:57] ✦[rp]Doc: So, what exactly is the point of this visit?

[19:59:02] ✦[rp] Ollie: did you invite them Doc, aren't they technically breaking our rules

[19:59:29] ✦[rp]Doc: I do not remember inviting them to the faction meeting

[19:58:50] ✦[rp] ceph: anyway we are like, supposed to be making peace

[19:58:54] ✦[rp] ceph: making out

[19:58:56] ✦[rp] ceph: yk

[19:59:03] ✦[rp]Dex: making out?

[19:59:08] ✦[rp] Punk: making out!!!!

[19:59:10] ✦[rp] ceph: forget it

[19:59:21] ✦[rp]Prince: yeah making out

[19:59:52] ✦[rp]Doc: Alright, why?

[19:59:24] ✦[rp] ceph: anyway i wanna make friends ahaha

[19:59:56] ✦[rp] Ollie: breaking into a factions territory is a bad way to "make friends"

[19:59:27] ✦Faulkner [rp]: i dont think making peace includes trespassing

[19:59:51] ✦[rp]Dex: why not just ask us to meet at the gazebo?

[20:00:30] ✦[rp]Dex: The gazebo is neutral territory and you wouldn't be breaking our basic rules of decency

[20:00:47] ✦[rp]Dex: you could have just sent a message to meet there

[20:00:54] ✦[rp] Ollie: yeah

[20:00:01] ✦[rp] ceph: ok and

[20:00:00] ✦[rp] Punk: cuz this was way cooler

[19:59:47] ✦[rp]Prince: exactly

[19:59:52] ✦[rp] Pyrite: yeah

[19:59:46] ✦[rp] ceph: i just show up

[20:00:12] ✦[rp] Ollie: ughh

[20:00:10] ✦[rp] ceph: ollie i dont like u

[20:00:17] ✦[rp] Ollie: yeah wow SHOCKER

[19:59:42] ✦[rp] Punk: this the king of malfaction put some respect on their name plz

[20:00:18] ✦Faulkner [rp]: fancy titles dont mean you can disrespect our rules

[20:00:34] ✦[rp] Punk: ummm when those fancy titles are KING then actually i think so

[20:00:30] ✦[rp]Prince: it does mean that ceph has soldiers though

[20:00:45] ✦[rp]Prince: its a divine right anyways

[20:00:55] ✦[rp]Dex: WHAT DIVINE?!!?

[20:01:15] ✦[rp]Prince: a king is chosen by gods. hence. ceph is a divine king

[20:01:22] ✦[rp] ceph: yea that

[20:01:30] ✦[rp]Prince: and thats why we can show up here, unannounced

[20:01:51] ✦[rp]Dex: what gods, we are actively on the run from the closest things to "gods"

[20:01:49] ✦[rp] Punk: ok nerd whatever we arent even here for you

[20:02:10] ✦[rp]Prince: different gods

[20:02:14] ✦[rp]Prince: get with the program

[20:01:14] ✦[rp] ceph: if u cant handle my swag spontaneousness im not gonna be peaceful or whatever

[20:00:38] ✦[rp] ceph: anyway i dont care im gonna make connections

[20:00:58] ✦[rp]Doc: Connections? What do you mean by that? Did you want trading routes?

[20:01:32] ✦[rp] Ollie: that's a whole lot of shit right there

[20:02:03] ✦[rp] ceph: shut up ollie ur widowed

[20:02:18] ✦[rp] Ollie: what the FUCK

[20:02:08] ✦[rp]Doc: Alright, let's calm down with that.

[20:02:35] ✦[rp] ceph: ollie i dont wanna talk to u ur boring

[20:02:43] ✦[rp]Doc: How about we all move back to the original islands and we can talk more about- whatever this is. I'm really not sure

[20:03:02] ✦[rp] Ollie: Doc, in my unbiased opinion, I don't think we should be doing trading deals with the Malfaction, cuz their ruler fucking sucks

[20:03:10] ✦Faulkner [rp]: I agree

[20:03:39] ✦Faulkner [rp]: I doubt they have anything to offer us

[20:03:27] ✦[rp] Punk [to Ollie]: hey mind ur tongue brother i got a knife

[20:03:30] ✦[rp]Dex: Also, they disrespected our customs quite heavily

[20:03:34] ✦[rp]Doc: I know you hate each other, I'm very aware of that-

[20:03:29] ✦[rp] ceph: thats undiplomatic of u

[20:04:07] ✦[rp] Ollie: how am I being undiplomatic when one of your followers literally just threatened me

[20:04:40] ✦[rp] ceph: ollie thats ur stepdad ok punk is fucking ur DAD

[20:04:52] ✦[rp] ceph: be respectful

[20:04:53] ✦[rp] Ollie: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT

[20:05:01] ✦[rp]Prince: because its true obviously

[20:04:50] ✦[rp] Punk: yeah be nice

[20:04:50] ✦[rp]Doc [to Ceph]: Alright, you're the leader? Then we need to negotiate.

[20:03:53] ✦[rp]Prince: we have so many things to offer you

[20:03:55] ✦[rp] ceph: 18 stacks of gold blocks

[20:03:59] ✦[rp]Prince: THAT

[20:04:03] ✦[rp] Pyrite: so many things

[20:04:04] ✦[rp] Punk: boom

[20:04:06] ✦[rp] ceph: all i have on me

[20:04:11] ✦Faulkner [rp]: ... ok that does sound a bit nice

[20:05:05] ✦[rp] ceph: hell yea bby lets goo

[20:05:23] ✦[rp]Prince: the king is never wrong. that's why they were chosen by our god

[20:05:46] ✦[rp] ceph: laying it on a bit thick there ay prince

[20:05:57] ✦[rp] ceph: i dig it swag

[20:06:03] ✦[rp]Prince: thank you, sire

[20:05:34] ✦[rp]Dex: wait, they're getting rewarded for being incredibly rude?

[20:05:42] ✦Faulkner [rp]: apparently

[20:05:47] ✦[rp]Doc: No, they are not. No one is being rewarded

[20:06:16] ✦[rp]Dex: they're getting the negotiations they want without so much as an apology

[20:06:27] ✦[rp]Dex: sounds like a reward to me

[20:05:49] ✦[rp] Punk: um hell yeah thats how we roll

[20:06:06] ✦[rp] ceph: anyway

[20:06:16] ✦[rp] ceph: like i said

[20:06:29] ✦[rp] ceph: i wanna make connections

[20:06:31] ✦[rp]Doc: You cannot just break into the faction borders without consequences

[20:06:37] ✦[rp] ceph: ok and

[20:06:44] ✦[rp]Prince: you cannot punish the king

[20:07:08] ✦[rp]Dex: fuckin try me

[Dex pulls out a weapon in return, stepping forward towards Ceph]

[20:07:14] ✦[rp] Ollie: I kinda feel bad for all of you, having Ceph as your king

[Ceph pouts dramatically]

[20:07:28] ✦[rp] ceph: u wouldnt kill the poor player who can't respawn would ya?

[20:07:46] ✦[rp]Dex: I absolutely would

[Dex takes another step forward, angling the sword in Ceph’s personal space]

[20:07:31] ✦[rp]Prince [to Dex]: one step bug man and youre a sacrifice

[Prince draws his own weapon, stepping to defend his King]

[20:08:04] ✦[rp]Dex: I've done it before and I'll do it again

[Doc steps forward, pushing Dex’s sword away and giving them a pointed look, trying to control and win over the conversation]

[20:07:47] ✦[rp]Doc: Consequences of breaking the faction rules are severe. We are constructing a pit

[The Malfaction rogue’s gallery responds, pointedly unafraid and dripping with sarcasm]

[20:08:03] ✦[rp] Punk: a pit jesus

[20:08:05] ✦[rp] Pyrite: hell yeah a pit

[20:08:16] ✦[rp]Prince: pit jesus hell yes

[Ceph rolls their eyes, unafraid of any threats and backed well by their Court]

[20:08:22] ✦[rp] ceph: anyway ur hoes r rude as shit

[20:08:36] ✦[rp] ceph: at least i came in unarmed

[20:08:39] ✦[rp] Ollie: fuck you

[20:08:53] ✦[rp]Doc: They are hostile because you have broken the rules put in place for protection

[20:10:04] ✦[rp]Doc: It is permissible for members of this faction to use force to prevent possible threats from entering the area

[20:09:06] ✦[rp] ceph: and

[20:10:38] ✦[rp] ceph: its permissible for me to do your mom

[20:10:44] ✦[rp] Punk: WOOO

[20:10:24] ✦[rp]Prince: threats like unarmed monarchs?

[20:10:44] ✦[rp] Flick [quietly, with growing but contained anger]: unarmed monarchs who are in an area Without Permission

[20:09:16] ✦[rp]Prince: and we say that rules are meant to be broken. especially by the king

[20:09:32] ✦[rp] Ollie: the rules are meant for quite literally the opposite of that

[20:09:30] ✦[rp] ceph: sure yea that !!

[20:09:58] ✦[rp] ceph: anyway doc. you're smart. you don't want a war

[20:11:13] ✦[rp]Dex: You were actively committing espionage

[20:11:19] ✦[rp]Prince: we are Not

[20:11:22] ✦[rp]Dex: that counts enough as a threat

[20:11:18] ✦[rp] ceph: ok and

[20:11:30] ✦[rp]Prince: the fact that we're here and talking is not espionage

[20:11:44] ✦[rp] Punk: yeah boss man we r just asking for a little chat

[20:11:19] ✦[rp] Ollie: I don't think we should be discussing negotiations with someone so immature

[20:11:54] ✦[rp] ceph: i'm a poor wittwe whore i wouldn't hurt anyone uwu

[20:11:59] ✦Faulkner [rp]: doubt

[20:12:02] ✦[rp]Prince: thats our king

[20:12:03] ✦[rp]Doc: Don't say that to me

[20:12:21] ✦[rp] ceph: why? does it make you uncomfy

[20:12:27] ✦[rp]Doc: Yes.

[20:12:35] ✦[rp] Punk: cant handle the sexy sexy truth…

[20:12:41] ✦[rp]Prince: buncha prudes

[20:12:28] ✦[rp] Ollie: I think Ceph calling themself that is enough to throw them to the pit

[20:12:30] ✦[rp] Ollie: just saying

[20:12:41] ✦[rp]Dex: I agree with Ollie

[20:12:40] ✦[rp] ceph: shut up ollie

[20:12:53] ✦[rp] ceph: anyway

[20:13:18] ✦[rp]Doc: Now your subjects keep making threats and you came into this area without an invitation or permission. That is not acceptable

[20:13:25] ✦[rp]Doc: Do you understand that?

[20:13:27] ✦[rp]Prince: when have we been making threats??

[20:13:48] ✦[rp] Punk: i ONLY said i had a knife i didnt say i was gonna use it yeesh

[20:13:55] ✦[rp]Prince: its called self defense

[20:13:37] ✦[rp] ceph: do u want me to micromanage them .

[20:13:45] ✦[rp] ceph: i don't control em

[20:13:59] ✦[rp] ceph: they can do what they want

[20:14:18] ✦[rp]Prince: exactly

[20:14:23] ✦[rp]Doc: Self defense?

[20:14:31] ✦[rp]Doc: You came in here

[20:14:39] ✦[rp]Prince: yall have weapons out, and our poor guy only has a knife

[20:14:48] ✦[rp]Doc: That's because you're intruders

[20:14:44] ✦[rp] Punk: umm yeah that little bastard was pointing a big bow at us

[Punk pokes the tip of Faulkner’s arrow (firework?) with a finger.]

[20:14:52] ✦[rp] Punk: and the bug was DUAL WIELDING

[20:15:08] ✦[rp]Dex: and I will again if you continue to be a threat

[Faulkner shoves him back with the weapon]

[20:14:47] ✦Faulkner [rp]: Walking all over our rules is a threat. You clearly dont respect us

[20:15:16] ✦Faulkner [rp]: its almost like you walked into the heart of our land unannounced

[20:15:11] ✦[rp]Prince: we're TRYING to be diplomatic, but youre the one that escalated

[20:15:30] ✦[rp] Ollie: breaking into our territory is not diplomatic

[20:15:24] ✦[rp] ceph: everyone needs to smoke some weed n calm down

[20:15:28] ✦[rp]Doc: No

[20:15:32] ✦[rp]Prince: im taking a hit rn actually

[Prince pulls an high quality Malfaction joint out of his pocket]

[20:15:44] ✦[rp]Doc: No, not that.

[Ceph reaches over to take it extremely sexily, tossing it to Doc with a wink]

[20:15:41] ✦[rp] ceph: blunt of peace

[Doc is fully fed up with these heathens]

[20:15:36] ✦[rp]Doc: See what we are going to do-

[20:15:43] ✦[rp]Dex: espionage is NOT diplomatic

[20:15:55] ✦[rp]Prince: we haven't DONE ESPIONAGE

[20:16:44] ✦[rp]Dex: so if you don't know what murder is you can't do it?

[20:16:51] ✦[rp]Prince: yeah?? of course

[20:16:55] ✦[rp]Dex: your logic is flawed

[20:16:15] ✦[rp] Punk: i dont even know what that means so clearly its not been done

[20:16:23] ✦[rp]Prince: exactly. punk gets it

[20:16:27] ✦[rp] ceph: i dont either ^_^

[20:16:57] ✦[rp] Pyrite: yeah!

[Doc rubs his face, wafting the smoke out of the air with his other hand]

[20:16:31] ✦[rp]Doc: You are going to leave this area, and if you need to speak to me again, you can write a letter

[20:16:55] ✦[rp] ceph: ew u want me to write u a love letter old man

[20:17:00] ✦[rp]Doc: No.

[20:17:01] ✦[rp] ceph: ay im into it

[20:17:04] ✦[rp] ceph: aw

[20:17:05] ✦[rp]Doc: No-

[20:17:55] ✦[rp] ceph: lol. lmao

[20:17:08] ✦[rp] Ollie: what the fuck

[20:17:35] ✦[rp]Doc: No, a letter asking to meet on neutral ground to discuss and negotiate. Because this situation is unacceptable

[20:18:01] ✦[rp]Prince: how about we make that letter now then

[20:18:01] ✦[rp] Punk: come on but it would be so quick to just do it here

[20:18:24] ✦[rp] ceph: that's all i have to say btw

[20:18:30] ✦[rp]Doc: That was it?

[20:18:35] ✦[rp] ceph: yea <3

[20:18:43] ✦[rp] Punk: the king is one of few words

[20:18:50] ✦[rp] ceph: yeaaaa'

[20:18:51] ✦[rp]Prince: he really is, isn't he?

[20:19:05] ✦[rp] ceph: i love pronouns i have 67

[20:19:09] ✦[rp]Doc: Next time you need to talk to me, send a letter asking to negotiate.

[20:18:56] ✦[rp] Ollie: If they won't leave the area, there's another way to get them out

[20:19:09] ✦[rp]Doc: Otherwise, like Ollie said, they are permitted to use force

[20:19:13] ✦[rp]Doc: And violence

[20:19:25] ✦[rp] Punk: erm no they aren't ill tell their dad

[20:19:25] ✦[rp]Dex: VIOLENCE ^-^

[20:19:11] ✦[rp] Punk: CHILLAX

[20:19:24] ✦[rp]Prince: jeez, its like you WANT the treaty to break

[20:19:42] ✦[rp] ceph: ok. ill moan if a bitch stabs me i'm not scared

[20:19:47] ✦[rp] Punk: hot

[20:19:52] ✦[rp] ceph: ayo

[20:19:49] ✦[rp]Prince: that's our king!

[20:19:56] ✦[rp] Pyrite: hell yeah bro

[20:19:52] ✦[rp]Doc: Alright let's not do that

[20:19:51] ✦[rp] Ollie: can you guys LEAVE

[20:20:28] ✦[rp]Doc: You need to leave, and the next time you breach our borders without express permission, you will be met with deadly force.

[20:21:01] ✦[rp] Punk: christ man ur SO SERIOUS like get over yourself

[20:21:13] ✦[rp] ceph: ayy gettem punk

[20:21:29] ✦[rp]Doc: No

[20:20:34] ✦[rp] ceph: before i leave i want to flirt with ur hoes

[20:20:51] ✦[rp]Prince: the king is generous like that

[20:21:11] * ✦Faulkner [rp] rolls his eyes

[20:21:32] ✦[rp] Ollie: if they don't leave then I'm leaving first

[20:21:44] ✦Faulkner [rp]: I think your "king" should get over themself

[20:21:47] ✦[rp]Dex: this is a SERIOUS matter. If anything, y'all are too lackadaisical

[20:22:22] ✦[rp] ceph: we die anyway may as well have fun

[20:22:28] ✦[rp]Prince: the king was chosen BECAUSE of his respendlent personality

[20:22:29] ✦[rp]Doc: You need to leave. Are we clear on what you need to do in order to initiate a meeting?

[20:22:38] ✦[rp] ceph: uhhh i forgor

[20:22:59] ✦[rp]Doc: Write a letter asking to meet

[20:23:02] ✦[rp] Ollie: this is ridiculous

[20:23:12] ✦[rp]Prince: its ridiculous that we have to write a letter

[20:23:07] ✦[rp]Doc: Now you have to leave

[Faulkner points a crossbow at Ceph]

[20:23:09] ✦[rp] ceph: hey cutie how about u stick that arrow up my ass

[Ceph flicks their eyes over it]

[20:23:27] ✦[rp] ceph: firework. whatever

[20:23:15] ✦[rp] Ollie: ??????

[Faulkner presses its finger on the trigger, leveling the crossbow]

[20:23:17] ✦Faulkner [rp]: maybe I will

[20:23:28] ✦Faulkner [rp]: and i can paint the wall with you

[Ceph smirks]

[20:23:33] ✦[rp] ceph: hot

[20:23:27] ✦[rp] Punk: right in front of everyone damn

[20:23:36] ✦[rp]Prince: hot

[Doc claps his hands]

[20:23:32] ✦[rp]Doc: Alright, well I did the best I could.

[Doc pulls a green ribbon from around his wrist, tying up his hair. He waves his hand halfheartedly]

[20:23:40] ✦[rp]Doc: Go ahead, everyone

[The room breaks out into chaos, members vault over tables, fireworks go off in a cascade of colors, weapons clash. People shout, teeth nash, blood spills across the Wisterian floor. Punk fires a bolt, hitting Ollie and killing him. His body glitches, displaying the void texture before disappearing to his respawn point.]

[20:23:57] ✦[rp] Ollie was slain by ✦[rp] Punk using [KAPOW!]

[Doc draws a sword and rushes Ceph. Prince moves to defend Ceph, but they reveal a hidden blade on their thigh, and lock into combat with Doc]

[20:24:02] ✦[rp] ceph: ay

[Across the room, Faulkner roars with a growl deep in his throat. It fires a firework at Punk, who dissipates into a cloud of fireworks particles. He turns to find where Ollie respawned, making sure to keep his eye on them.]

[20:24:19] ✦[rp] Punk was slain by ✦Faulkner [rp] using [✦ Discidia ✦]

[Wisteria and Malfaction continue to clash as their leaders fight one another, dagger against sword. Prince doesn’t move away from defending Ceph, and throws Doc back into a wall. Dex rushes forward to attack the King. Ceph throws his dagger into Dex’s chest and they dissipate into a cloud of particles]

[20:24:21] ✦[rp]Dex was slain by ✦[rp] ceph using [crink]

[Dex respawns quickly, appearing behind Pyrite, who was not engaged in the combat, but instead tucked in a corner trying to write in a small notebook. They use their sword to take them down]

[20:24:31] ✦[rp] Pyrite was slain by ✦[rp]Dex

[As Doc tries to recover, Ceph takes Prince’s sword from his hands and stabs Doc through the chest with his flaming blade. Doc dissipates into tentacles of darkness and dies, respawning in the office above.]

[20:24:36] ✦[rp]Doc was burnt to a crisp whilst fighting [rp] ceph

[Ceph gloats with a grin]

[20:24:46] ✦[rp] ceph: ha i lived

[20:24:46] ✦[rp]Prince: are you alright sire

[Ceph pushes the blade into Prince’s hands, and watches Doc as he descends the stairs. His hair has fallen partially out of its tied back state. Something has knocked loose in the conflict, and the need to annoy this man in particular for as long as possible is the primarily thing on their mind]

[Dex attempts to rush the King again, but Prince intercepts them, slashing at their chest and exploding them into a poof of pollen]

[20:24:57] ✦[rp]Dex was burnt to a crisp whilst fighting ✦[rp]Prince

[Pyrite respawns, turning a corner]

[20:25:03] ✦[rp] Pyrite: everyone good? rude to attack a man writing in their book

[Ollie appears from where they respawned]

[20:25:15] ✦[rp] Ollie: okay this is clearly not working

[Faulkner rushes over to defend Ollie]

[20:25:12] ✦Faulkner [rp] [to Ollie]: are you alright?

[20:25:19] ✦[rp] Ollie: yeah I'm fine

[20:25:23] ✦[rp] Ollie: where's Doc

[20:25:31] ✦Faulkner [rp]: downstairs i think

[20:25:48] ✦[rp] Ollie: we should talk to him

[Ceph crosses their arms. Behind them, Dex attempts to rush them again. Prince steps in the way.]

[20:25:17] ✦[rp] ceph: well. that went wrong

[Prince is cut down, and melts into sculk in the ground, dying. Ceph doesn’t seem to notice]

[20:25:17] ✦[rp]Prince was slain by ✦[rp]Dex

[Prince respawns nearby, using the sculk on the ground to keep Dex in place. His weapon has become eaten over in sculk, and he uses it to kill Dex in one swift motion]

[20:25:33] ✦[rp]Dex was slain by ✦[rp]Prince using [Sculkbringer]

[20:25:39] ✦[rp]Prince: rude

[20:25:47] ✦[rp] Punk [to Dex as they die]: peace and love

[Dex continues to rush in, Prince continues to take them down]

[20:28:05] ✦[rp] Pyrite: hi guys

[20:26:02] ✦[rp]Dex was slain by ✦[rp]Prince using [Sculkbringer]

[20:28:31] ✦[rp] Pyrite: they seem to be busy

[Ollie and Faulkner cross the room to speak with Doc. Ollie is fuming.]

[20:26:30] ✦[rp] Ollie: I really HATE to suggest this but, I think the meeting should just be started now

[20:26:42] ✦[rp] Ollie: cuz they are clearly not gonna leave, and they are going to be really fucking annoying about it

[20:27:07] ✦[rp]Doc: I can see that to be true, yes

[20:27:21] ✦[rp]Doc: Alright, let's get this over with

[Ceph watches as Prince and Dex continue to fight, Punk by their side]

[20:26:31] ✦[rp] ceph: ok this shits fucked

[Dex rushes Ceph, Prince cuts Dex down again]

[20:27:23] ✦[rp]Dex was slain by ✦[rp]Prince using [Sculkbringer]

[20:27:28] ✦Faulkner [rp]: the faster we negotiate the faster theyll fucking leave

[20:27:36] ✦[rp] Ollie: We aren't really following the peace treaty, so we should be the bigger person here and sit down and talk

[Dex rushes Ceph, Prince cuts down Dex again]

[20:27:51] ✦[rp]Dex was slain by ✦[rp]Prince using [Sculkbringer]

[Ceph saunters to where Doc and the others have gathered]

[20:27:55] ✦[rp]Doc: Ceph.

[They make a handshape in the form of an L on their forehead]

[20:27:57] ✦[rp] ceph: L

[Doc sighs]

[20:28:13] ✦[rp]Doc: You wanted to talk to me, so come and talk.

[Dex tries to rush Ceph again, they land a blow, and Ceph throws up a hand to defend themself]

[20:28:26] ✦[rp] ceph: CALL UR HOE OFF

[Prince runs across the room, catching the second blow, and engaging Dex in combat again]

[20:28:34] ✦[rp] ceph: jesus

[20:28:26] ✦[rp]Dex was slain by ✦[rp]Prince using [Sculkbringer]

[20:28:37] ✦[rp] Ollie: guys stop

[20:28:50] ✦Faulkner [rp]: DEX

[Dex attempts one last attack, but Prince stops them quickly]

[20:28:53] ✦[rp]Dex was slain by ✦[rp]Prince using [Sculkbringer]

[Dex limps out from their respawn point, battered but determined]

[20:28:58] ✦[rp]Dex: yeah

[20:29:01] ✦Faulkner [rp]: stop

[20:29:09] ✦Faulkner [rp]: we all stopped fighting like

[20:29:12] ✦Faulkner [rp]: a minute ago

[20:29:02] ✦[rp] Ollie: Dex Dex it's okay you can stop

[20:29:08] ✦[rp]Dex: sorry, the bloodlust took over

[20:29:14] ✦[rp]Dex: also

[20:29:22] ✦[rp]Dex: they camped me for a bit

[20:29:33] ✦[rp]Prince: you were the one attacking US

[20:29:34] ✦[rp] Punk: eat shit

[20:29:35] ✦[rp]Dex: I was justified

[20:29:54] ✦[rp] Ollie: I think you are justified but, I think we should back down

[20:30:00] ✦[rp] Ollie: and talk, like adults

[20:30:01] ✦[rp]Dex [shouting]: I WAS GONNA STOP THEN YOU ATTACKED ME INSTANTLY

[20:29:07] ✦[rp] ceph: well.

[Ceph makes a point to lift their leg up onto the table, flipping their skirt up to expose the weapon garter on their thigh, where they replace the dagger in its rightful spot.]

[20:30:13] ✦[rp] ceph: i think we've made it clear that despite our lack of manners, we can very much all hold our own in a fight

[20:30:40] ✦[rp]Prince: exactly! our king has soldiers, and yall democratic fungus cant handle a bit of divine might

[20:30:21] ✦[rp]Doc: Ceph, you wanted to talk.

[Ceph turns towards him, crossing the room]

[20:30:28] ✦[rp] ceph: yes i did

[20:30:33] ✦[rp]Doc: So let's talk

[Ceph crosses the room to stand face to face with Doc, getting purposefully uncomfortably close in his personal space]

[20:30:58] ✦[rp] ceph: hi

[He doesn’t falter]

[20:31:03] ✦[rp]Doc: Hi.

[They turn their head]

[20:31:17] ✦[rp] ceph: im drunk i forgot everything i was gonna say

[20:31:28] ✦Faulkner [rp]: of course you d-

[Ceph looks back]

[20:31:26] ✦[rp] ceph: lets get married

[20:31:30] ✦Faulkner [rp]: ...

[Doc is dumbfounded]

[20:31:33] ✦[rp]Doc: What??

[20:31:32] ✦[rp]Prince: yes!

[20:31:33] ✦[rp]Dex: ...

[20:31:34] ✦[rp] Ollie: HUH

[20:31:34] ✦[rp] ceph: for taxes

[20:31:35] ✦[rp]Doc: No.

[20:31:39] ✦[rp] Ollie: WHAT TAXES

[20:31:39] ✦[rp]Doc: What taxes?

[20:31:51] ✦[rp] ceph: ok wow glad u agreed doc

[20:31:58] ✦[rp]Doc: What??? I did not agree

[20:32:05] ✦[rp] ceph: yes u did

[20:32:06] ✦[rp]Doc: That was me not agreeing

[20:32:09] ✦[rp] ceph: gaslight

[20:31:40] ✦[rp]Prince: the perfect way to have peace in our borders

[20:32:25] ✦[rp]Prince: doc, if i may be informal, ya accepted dawg.

[20:32:31] ✦[rp] Punk: you totally did its crazy how fast you agreed

[20:32:32] ✦[rp]Doc: No I did not

[20:31:43] ✦[rp]Dex: WHAT FUCKING TAXES

[20:31:53] ✦[rp]Prince: the taxes that god takes from us

[20:31:46] ✦Faulkner [rp]: we don't... have taxes?

[20:31:55] ✦[rp] ceph: we do

[20:32:35] ✦[rp] Ollie: why the HELL DO YOU WANNA GET MARRIED

[Ceph is still staring at Doc. Doc is having a difficult time processing this]

[20:32:35] ✦[rp]Doc: What??

[20:32:16] ✦Faulkner [rp]: follow up question

[20:32:35] ✦Faulkner [rp]: if we agree does that mean u will take doc

[Doc whips towards Faulkner]

[20:32:39] ✦[rp]Doc: NO

[20:32:49] ✦[rp]Prince: yes!

[20:32:55] ✦[rp] ceph: ill pay u 18 stacks of gold blocks as a pre wedding gift

[20:32:59] ✦[rp]Doc: Why?

[20:33:01] ✦[rp]Prince: it will be a stylish carriage

[20:33:06] ✦[rp]Prince: wait. Marriage.

[20:33:17] ✦[rp]Prince: we can also have a carriage for the betrothed though!

[20:33:04] ✦[rp]Doc: What- why

[20:33:12] ✦[rp] ceph: bc we r getting married

[20:33:18] ✦[rp]Doc: No we are not

[20:33:30] ✦[rp]Prince: look, our king has got the hots for ya prez

[20:33:36] ✦[rp]Doc: Don't say that to me

[20:33:34] ✦[rp]Prince: just get married

[20:33:16] ✦[rp] Ollie: where the fuck is this coming from

[20:33:35] ✦[rp] ceph: shut up ollie ur a widow

[20:33:39] ✦[rp] Ollie: i'm going to throw up

[20:33:37] ✦Faulkner [rp]: marrying off doc doesn't sound that bad

[20:33:51] ✦[rp] Ollie: you just want the gold don't you

[20:33:55] ✦Faulkner [rp]: well yes

[20:34:07] ✦[rp] Ollie: I don't think it's worth it

[20:34:14] ✦[rp] ceph: oh u want gold ay'

[20:34:14] ✦[rp] Punk: who needs some stupid piece of paper when uve got the sweet gold band of marriage <3

[20:34:18] ✦Faulkner [rp]: i also don't like doc

[20:34:06] ✦[rp]Prince: doc will be happy

[20:34:13] ✦[rp]Doc: I will not be happy

[20:34:11] ✦[rp]Prince: we have a strong military

[20:34:18] ✦[rp]Prince: we can protect doc

[20:35:05] ✦[rp]Doc: NO

[20:34:45] ✦[rp] Ollie: okay but this is just, an awful idea

[Ceph turns towards Faulkner]

[20:34:43] ✦[rp] ceph: i'll take faulkner if doc continues to be difficult

[20:34:48] ✦[rp] Ollie: WHAT

[They shrug]

[20:34:49] ✦[rp] ceph: just saying

[20:34:52] ✦Faulkner [rp]: you will not

[20:34:57] ✦[rp]Prince: welp

[20:34:59] ✦[rp]Doc: See, that sounds better to me.

[20:35:50] ✦[rp] ceph: hes weird but also kinda cute

[20:36:04] ✦[rp] ceph: and not old

[20:36:15] ✦[rp]Prince: you can have both sire

[20:36:20] ✦[rp]Prince: it doesn't have to be monogamous

[20:36:28] ✦[rp] ceph: good thinking

[20:35:01] ✦[rp]Prince: so, doc?

[20:35:05] ✦[rp]Doc: NO

[20:35:16] ✦[rp] Punk: sounds like a yes to me!!!!

[20:35:19] ✦[rp] Ollie [to Ceph]: dont fucking hit me

[20:35:21] ✦[rp]Doc: WHAT

[20:35:34] ✦[rp]Prince: just get married doc

[20:35:39] ✦[rp]Doc: WHY

[20:35:45] ✦[rp]Prince: we literally wont leave if you don't accept the marriage <3

[20:36:02] ✦[rp]Doc: WHAT????

[20:35:59] ✦[rp] Ollie: this is still an awful idea why do you even want this

[20:36:30] ✦[rp] Ollie: we can't just Do what the Malfaction wants us to do

[20:36:57] ✦[rp] Punk: yes you can silly all you have to do is say yes

[20:36:31] ✦[rp]Doc: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

[20:37:24] ✦[rp]Doc: You keep saying that's what I said anyway

[20:37:18] ✦[rp] Ollie: I am so done with this

[20:37:25] ✦[rp]Prince: you're not relevant

[20:37:31] ✦[rp] ceph: AYO

[20:37:32] ✦[rp]Prince: we only want to hear doc

[20:37:35] ✦[rp] ceph: AYOOOOOOOOOO

[20:37:48] ✦[rp] Ollie: alright then I guess I'll just fuck off

[20:37:54] ✦[rp]Prince: dont

[20:37:54] ✦[rp] Ollie: I don't even wanna be here

[20:37:57] ✦[rp] ceph: i don't rlly care uhh ill give u shit

[20:38:06] ✦[rp] ceph: bye ollie~!~

[20:38:19] ✦[rp] Ollie: I don't like how you said that but okay

[Ollie hangs out in the periphery, not entirely leaving, but sulking in the corner where he can still hear what is happening. Faulkner follows.]

[Dex steps forward, as Ceph struts to get up in Doc’s face again]

[20:37:18] ✦[rp]Dex: We need to figure stuff out

[20:37:35] ✦[rp]Dex: like how this will affect trade, land agreements, government

[20:37:59] ✦[rp] Punk: it'll affect it beautifully

[20:38:02] ✦[rp]Doc: What???

[Punk watches from afar, walking over to Ollie and Faulkner, and hands them items]

[20:37:13] ✦Faulkner [rp]: ?

[They’re blocks of gold]

[20:38:35] ✦[rp] Punk: see that shit . lustrous

[20:38:41] ✦[rp] Punk: more where that came from

[20:38:43] ✦Faulkner [rp]: ollie look at my gold block

[20:38:50] ✦[rp] Ollie: it sure is gold

[Ceph drops a gold block onto the floor, stepping up onto it]

[20:38:18] ✦[rp]Doc: What's happening?

[20:38:21] ✦[rp]Prince: proposal

[20:38:23] ✦[rp] ceph: i must be tall

[20:38:32] ✦[rp]Doc: What?? Why?

[20:38:41] ✦[rp] ceph: dominance

[20:38:34] ✦[rp]Prince: bend the knee doc, propose to our king

[20:38:51] ✦[rp] Flick [hand on his knife]: well this just feels a little demeaning here Princey

[20:39:07] ✦[rp] ceph: ay don't fight my guys

[20:39:11] ✦[rp] ceph: i like em

[20:39:30] ✦[rp]Prince: doc just marry our king. it'd be great for trade and faction relations

[Doc speaks, exasperated]

[20:39:08] ✦[rp]Doc: I'm not marrying anyone

[20:39:19] ✦[rp] ceph: oh really

[20:39:24] ✦[rp]Doc: That's correct

[20:39:28] ✦[rp] ceph: nah

[20:39:31] ✦[rp] ceph: lmao

[20:39:41] ✦[rp]Doc: What do you mean, nah?

[Punk shouts over from where he stands next to Ollie and Faulkner]

[20:39:58] ✦[rp] Punk: their golds on your property so basically you already have

[20:40:04] ✦[rp] ceph: i've got my heart set on wearing a wedding dress now

[20:40:08] ✦[rp]Prince: a night with our king will have you changing your mind

[Both whip towards a sheepish Prince]

[20:40:12] ✦[rp]Doc: WHAT

[20:40:18] ✦[rp] ceph: AYO

[20:40:19] ✦[rp] Punk: cephy ill be ur bridesmaid <3

[20:40:25] ✦[rp] ceph: thx punk

[20:41:29] ✦[rp] ceph: im not gonna fuck the old man if he doesnt want to i just wanna marry the bitch. unite or whatever

[20:41:36] ✦[rp]Doc: WHAT?????????

[20:41:36] ✦[rp] ceph: peace and love

[20:41:38] ✦[rp]Prince: ah. sorry sire

[20:41:49] ✦[rp] ceph: u r forgiven

[20:41:54] ✦[rp]Prince: you are so kind

[20:41:56] ✦[rp] Punk: ur the president ur supposed to make awesome decisions for ur people. this is an AWESOME DECISION!

[20:42:14] ✦[rp] ceph: anyway

[20:42:21] ✦[rp]Prince: you still forget doc that our king is a lovely person

[20:42:30] ✦[rp]Doc: Wh- wh

[20:42:31] ✦[rp] ceph: here lmao

[Ceph tucks their vodka bottle under their arm, digs around in the pockets of their maid costume, and hands Doc a pile of gold]

[20:42:42] ✦[rp]Prince: we got lots more where that came from

[20:42:45] ✦[rp] ceph: takes a sip of vodka

[20:42:55] ✦[rp] ceph: from the empty bottle

[20:43:12] ✦[rp]Doc: There-

[20:43:17] ✦[rp]Doc: There's nothing even in there!

[20:43:25] ✦[rp] ceph: so?

[20:43:23] ✦[rp]Doc: What's happening??

[20:43:30] ✦[rp] Punk: you questioning the king

[20:43:40] ✦[rp] ceph: ay gettem punk

[20:43:41] ✦[rp]Doc: Am I losing my mind???

[20:43:29] ✦[rp]Prince: do you accept the marriage or not

[Pyrite tiptoes up behind the King, holding their notebook in their hands]

[20:44:02] ✦[rp] Pyrite: establish dominance king. eat the bottle

[Ceph narrows their eyes]

[20:44:38] ✦[rp] ceph: i don't think i can fit something this big down my throat but ok

[Ceph unhinges their jaw and eats the bottle]

[20:44:50] ✦[rp] ceph: i eated it

[20:44:58] ✦[rp]Prince: the king is amazing!

[20:45:06] ✦[rp] Pyrite: hell yeah dude!

[Doc looks like he needs to sit down]

[20:45:08] ✦[rp]Doc: What's happening???

[20:45:10] ✦[rp]Prince: able to eat a glass bottle is a divine RIGHT

[20:45:16] ✦[rp] Punk: DAMN STRAIGHT

[20:45:22] ✦[rp] ceph: yayyyyyyyyy

[20:45:23] ✦[rp]Doc: No it's not, I do it all the time!

[20:45:36] ✦[rp] ceph: showoff

[20:45:48] ✦[rp] Punk: see you guys are perfect for each other

[20:45:52] ✦[rp]Doc: You can't live in the town hall

[20:46:03] ✦[rp] ceph: ew why would i wanna

[20:46:28] ✦[rp]Doc: Glad to hear that

[20:46:45] ✦[rp] ceph: ok so when's the wedding

[20:46:52] ✦[rp]Doc: What do you mean WHEN

[20:47:01] ✦[rp] ceph: well u said yes

[20:47:07] ✦[rp]Doc: WHAT?

[20:46:59] ✦[rp]Prince: it can be next week sire

[20:47:16] ✦[rp] ceph: ty prince ur so helpful

[20:47:23] ✦[rp]Prince: you're welcome sire

[20:47:11] ✦[rp] Punk: next weeks fine with me!!

[20:47:35] ✦[rp] Pyrite: i may be slop, i may be free idk

[Faulkner notices the gold gifted from Ceph to Doc]

[20:45:58] ✦Faulkner [rp]: there is more gold in there

[20:46:12] ✦[rp] Ollie: we are not going back

[20:46:25] ✦Faulkner [rp]: but... the gold

[20:46:34] ✦[rp] Ollie: there's gold at HOME

[20:46:37] ✦Faulkner [rp]: i'm hungry

[20:46:45] ✦Faulkner [rp]: for gold

[20:47:20] ✦[rp] Ollie: faulkner-

[Faulkner heads back over to survey the gold. Ollie begrudgingly follows. As soon as they enter Ceph’s field of vision, he remembers they exist.]

[20:47:43] ✦[rp] ceph: heyyyy ollieeeeeeee

[20:47:44] ✦[rp] Ollie: guess i'm here again

[20:47:47] ✦[rp] Ollie: dont talk to me

[20:47:51] ✦[rp] ceph: back to see me?

[20:47:49] ✦[rp]Doc: Someone help

[20:47:34] ✦[rp]Dex: what is even happening at this point

[20:47:51] ✦[rp]Prince: your prez is getting married bug man read the room

[20:48:11] ✦[rp]Dex: You know, calling me a bug is very rude

[20:47:53] ✦[rp] Ollie: doc this isnt happening right

[20:48:00] ✦[rp] ceph: no it is

[20:48:05] ✦[rp]Doc: It is NOT

[20:48:11] ✦[rp] ceph: is too'

[20:48:12] ✦[rp] Punk: it totally is

[20:48:20] ✦Faulkner [rp]: i think it should

[20:48:20] ✦[rp]Doc: This is why I needed help

[20:48:20] ✦[rp] Flick: I am Very tempted to say we should all separate out and talk over it. you back to your places and us Somewhere Else.

[20:48:38] ✦[rp]Prince: we will only separate out if doc accepts the marriage

[20:48:58] ✦[rp]Doc: They said they won't leave unless I accept

[Ollie sighs, fed up with all of it]

[20:48:20] ✦[rp] Ollie: yeah of course not

[Ceph grins at Ollie]

[20:49:06] ✦[rp] ceph: u want me to marry U

[20:49:12] ✦[rp] ceph: ur jealous

[20:49:20] ✦[rp] ceph: and irrelevant

[20:49:16] ✦[rp] Ollie: WHEN did I say that

[20:49:36] ✦[rp] Ollie: I don't think anyone would even want to be married to you

[20:49:48] ✦[rp] ceph: well ur dad did'

[20:49:46] ✦[rp] Punk: um they are a delight to be around actually

[20:48:45] ✦[rp] Ollie: ceph im sure tomorrow you will be over this whole getting married thing

[20:49:41] ✦[rp] ceph: ur not important or cute

[Faulkner leans over to Ollie]

[20:50:00] ✦Faulkner [rp]: i got the block

[Ollie nods, rolls his eyes at Ceph, and then gestures at Doc]

[20:50:02] ✦[rp] Ollie: okay i'm leaving again, Doc you're on your own

[20:50:08] ✦[rp]Doc: WHY??

[As Ollie and Faulkner leave, the Malfaction King and his goons surround Doc]

[20:49:39] ✦[rp]Prince: so, what is it going to be, doc?

[20:49:53] ✦[rp]Doc: What do you mean? You haven't been listening to me the whole time

[20:50:11] ✦[rp]Prince: marriage is inevitable

[20:50:17] ✦[rp] ceph: doc im so glad we r getting married ^_^

[20:50:25] ✦[rp]Doc: What does that MEAN? Inevitable??

[20:50:32] ✦[rp]Doc: What-

[20:50:34] ✦[rp]Prince: its going to be a stylish marriage! we'll afford a carriage!

[Ceph does a twirl]

[20:50:40] ✦[rp] ceph: i'll look so good in a wedding dress

[20:50:46] ✦[rp] Punk: hell yeah you will king

[Prince celebrates with a dance]

[20:50:55] ✦[rp] ceph: fuck it up prince yaaaaaa

[20:50:57] ✦[rp]Doc: What are you people talking about??

[20:51:26] ✦[rp]Prince: well, since doc accepted, the marriage is on, yes?

[20:51:36] ✦[rp] ceph: omg ya ^_^

[20:51:36] ✦[rp]Doc: What? Wh- what's the-

[20:51:37] ✦[rp] Punk: fuck yeah

[20:51:40] ✦[rp] Punk: took long enough lol

[20:51:40] ✦[rp]Prince: wooo!

[20:51:42] ✦[rp] Pyrite: yep marriage is happening!

[20:51:43] ✦[rp]Doc: I need to go home

[20:51:56] ✦[rp]Prince: overwhelmed as you are marrying royalty i'm sure!

[20:51:57] ✦[rp] ceph: mission success boys

[20:51:58] ✦[rp] Pyrite: go home and prepare!

[20:52:04] ✦[rp]Prince: woop woop!

[20:52:05] ✦[rp]Doc: Prepare???

[20:52:06] ✦[rp]Prince: let's leave

[20:52:10] ✦[rp] ceph: ok

[Ceph blows a kiss to Doc before hopping down from the chair]

[20:52:16] ✦[rp] ceph: ^_^

[Ceph sashays out the door with the posse in quick succession]

[20:52:19] ✦[rp]Doc: Wh-

[Punk claps Doc on the shoulder]

[20:52:21] ✦[rp] Punk: best suit you own for the king remember

[The Malfaction heads out through the portal]

[Ollie sulks outside of the Town Hall, leaning against the wall, Faulkner stares at the gold in their hands with hungry eyes. He looks up, noticing that they’ve left]

[20:53:02] ✦Faulkner [rp]: oh they're gone

[Ollie stands up]

[20:53:07] ✦[rp] Ollie: FINALLY

[20:53:12] ✦Faulkner [rp]: i should have stolen more gold

[20:53:23] ✦Faulkner [rp]: im hungry

[The two of them head back into the Town Hall to find a dumbfounded Doc standing in the same position as before. Faulkner puts down a small pile of gold to lay on.]

[20:53:24] ✦[rp] Ollie: okay what happened

[20:53:29] ✦[rp]Doc: I have NO IDEA?

[20:53:37] ✦[rp] Ollie: what do you mean you have NO IDEA

[20:53:40] ✦[rp]Dex: I think Doc's getting married?

[20:53:41] ✦[rp]Doc: They just said something about a carriage and LEFT?

[20:53:46] ✦[rp]Dex: so uhhh congrats?

[20:53:47] ✦[rp] Ollie: WHAT

[20:53:59] ✦[rp]Doc: I kept trying to tell them no but they just kept doing things

[20:54:15] ✦[rp] Ollie: So. This is a thing. That's happening

[20:54:57] ✦[rp]Doc: And then everyone left, so it was just me with them- and they just kept saying things and I had no idea what any of it meant

[20:55:24] ✦[rp] Ollie: I can't believe they got away with that.....

[20:55:42] ✦[rp]Doc: I kept telling them to leave, but they beat us in a fight.

[20:55:50] ✦[rp] Ollie: let's just hope ceph forgets tomorrow

[20:55:53] ✦[rp] Ollie: they probably will

[20:55:56] ✦[rp] Ollie: you're fine

[20:55:57] ✦[rp] Ollie: maybe

[20:55:54] ✦[rp]Doc: We need to get the pit finished

[20:56:01] ✦[rp] Flick: is it possible to Induce Memory Loss. perhaps.

[20:56:10] ✦[rp] Flick: Maybe through violence.

[20:56:14] ✦[rp]Doc: Yes

[20:56:17] ✦[rp]Doc: A concussion

[20:56:23] ✦[rp] Ollie: I suggest we make the pit under the portal gateway

[20:56:28] ✦[rp]Dex: I can give them that :D

[20:56:29] ✦[rp]Doc: Great idea

[20:56:42] ✦[rp] Ollie: happy to help

[20:56:54] ✦[rp]Doc: And then if they try it again, we can force them all in the pit

Marriage Proposal - [7-01-23]